Humping leads to bumping

Its a Sunday night.
 On my way back from swimming, I go to my friends house for a little house party.
To begin with, I feel on top of the world! I open the front door to several friends screaming and hugging me!

Goal one: Be cool

Goal two: Be socially accepted 

Reached! tick, tick! 

However, this did not last long. After successfully third wheeling with my favourite (snogging under a blanket) couple, dancing, and all things fun and expected at a party, I find myself dancing in the Kitchen with a VERY good friend. So far, so good. However, when try to hug/hump my friend, I manage to SMACK my head on the corner of the overhood cooker. The incredible force of hitting my head throws me to the ground, managing to fall on top of my friend. As we hit the floor, my friend gives me the dirtiest look I've ever seen.

"You hurt my leg!" she tells me later.

For the rest of the house party, whilst everyone else is looking gorgeous and getting down and funky to music, I sit on the floor with a bag of frozen beans (???) the only thing at hand for injurys, swearing profusely, surrounded by a small group of concerned friends, splitting their sides with laughter.

As if this was not enough, an ignorant boy decides to cheer me up by throwing various chocolates at my lip, even though I am on the floor with ice on a MASSIVE bump.
Cool, gorgeous, and sophisticated it was NOT!

This thrown chocolate causes my already fairly large lips to SWELL, and bruise. YAAAAY!

I then have to walk, concussed, to my dads car at 12.30am with two friends. The gate is locked. I am about to wet myself, and the bag of ice has melted to dripping water.

We CAN'T get through the gate. I ring my friend to find code, then lack of reception cuts me off. Meanwhile, my dad sits on either side, already angry about the half hour wait whilst i tried to get off the floor with a head injury, watching my incompetence. Eventually I climb through a neighbours bush, to meet the wrath of an angry parent.

 My friends piss themselves laughing.

FUN TIMES